The Secret is Safe With Me

What is a secret? I think a secret is just a hidden truth. So why do we share our secrets? In my opinion the act of sharing secrets helps people in their lives, to free their minds. Frank Warren once said, "We think we're keeping secrets, but the secrets are actually keeping us.” I believe that having someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of humans.

In my life, the sharing of secrets has always taken place within relationships. Most secrets are part of a larger tangle of truths about our own lives and the lives of others. Sometimes we are afraid of our secrets so much that we fill our lives with distractions in an effort to avoid being alone with our thoughts. The more our mouths are able to speak the hidden truth, the closer we can draw to others.

According to the Twelve Step programs, we are as sick as our secrets. But if we can find a safe place to share our secrets we can begin to work toward healing.

I have shared secrets before and had that person run right to another and tell them…even after they were specifically asked not to do so. This is something that is hard for me to swallow maybe because I take pride in the fact that I am the type of person who takes confidential information to the grave. Secrets or confessions should be shared between friends, but a word of caution from my personal experience, if a friend becomes uneasy around your honesty they have not yet begun to be honest with themselves. I think you are a more admirable person and friend if others can trust you, tell you secrets, and be comfortable knowing that it is safe with you.

A trusted friend shared a secret with me just yesterday. I was honored that this person felt he could entrust me with this information that he had kept hidden away and I can assure him that his secret is safe with me. I hope it helped him ease his mind as well. Frederick Buechner is quoted as saying, "I am my secrets. And you are your secrets ... our trusting each other enough to share them with each other has much to do with the secret of what it is to be human."

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